Prior Soul Society
by MultipleCyrosis
Summary: Collection of fluffy and funny oneshots and drabbles concerning the life of Rukia and Ichigo before Soul Society. Rated for strong sexual references.
1. Learning is Fun, The Question

**AN: **Alright, now, it seems to be the trend these days, that people are making a collection of oneshots/drabbles. Well, I've decided to make my oneshots not only centered around Ichigo and Rukia, but all of these are going to be in the pre-soul society timeline which I have taken a liking to, for some reason. Probably because Rukia is so naïve and cute then. Anyway, enjoy!

This story is a sort of side story to my fic, 'Her First Time'. I made a reference to it during that fiction but didn't elaborate. Here is the extension, if anyone is interested.

_Standard disclaimer applies to all chapters henceforth_

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**Prior Soul Society: Learning is Fun**

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**

Rukia had been with Ichigo quite a while now. She had seen most of his facial expressions (or so she thought). She thought that his surprised expression was the best she could get out of him. Or maybe the angry expression. She didn't know. But, what she did know is that he almost exploded when she had just asked a question.

She had felt it was a bit different to the times when she had asked him other questions such has how to use the stove, how to use the vacuum, etc, but Rukia was Rukia, and she was curious. The girls had been mentioning it during class, which was what originally sparked Rukia's interest. The teacher had come in, and they suddenly stopped talking about it.

After school, just before she left with Ichigo, she asked Orihime what the girls were talking about. Orihime just fainted.

So, she decided to ask the next person that she knew the most.

She still remembered the distance his drink went from his mouth. Her eyebrows raised; she didn't know anyone could physically spit that far. Ichigo had gotten up, red, and crossly marched to the kitchen to grab some paper towels. Thankfully his dad and his sisters were out at someplace – the reason why they were actually eating at the dinner table.

When he came back into the dining room, she asked him again.

As he scrubbed the floor of his drink he tried to conceal his (red) face from Rukia. It wasn't enough that she had to ask him in that sort of naïve tone – no, she had to insist on a suitable answer. And no, she wouldn't be satisfied with the excuse Ichigo used most of the time – "I'll tell you later."

"But I want to know _now_," she pouted, as Ichigo went to throw the dirty paper towels in the bin. He didn't look at her. Lately her…_cuteness _had been getting the best of him, and he had been doing stuff for her he wouldn't have done for any other girl.

He didn't say anything as he sat down, but he also didn't touch his drink, nor his food. There was just too much that he could lose – knowing the questions Rukia could – and would – throw at him. Instead, he closed his eyes for two reasons.

One, to avoid the meaningful stare Rukia was giving him, and two, to think of a response that would leave Rukia satisfied, and at the same time, let him out alive. He didn't know if she would just suddenly blurt it out at school that 'Ichigo told me _this, this and this…_'

That would just be horrible. His image had already gone down a fair bit when Rukia had come to his school. Lately people had already been questioning him about his relationship with Rukia, and even though he vehemently denied it, it hadn't stopped the rumors from spreading.

He took a deep breath, and opened his eyes.

She looked at him expectantly. It must have been quite an atrocious question to ask, she thought, the way he reacted. Usually he would grumble or shout angrily at her, but this time all he had done was avoid her gaze.

A truly bad question indeed.

"Rukia…"

He was too tired to argue. Most of the time he would just tell her 'no', she would annoy him for the next 10 hours, and then he would give in. He only did that because he liked the attention he was receiving from her – though he would never, never in a million years admit that. That would be immature and childish. He was neither. Besides, he didn't really want her annoying him about this particular subject.

"Yes?"

There was no way out on this one. He couldn't tell her to ask the teacher. That would just be wrong. He would _not _ask her to ask his dad. That would be…he didn't even want to think about it.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" he said, still not looking at her.

"Mm," she nodded. Rukia really couldn't see the big deal. It couldn't be _that _bad, she thought. Some of the girls had been giggling about it when they were talking…so it wouldn't have anything to do with death or anything. Ichigo could tell her.

_Why are you so damn curious?_

Exasperated, he rubbed his temples. This was not something that a 15-year-old boy should have to answer. Even if he knew the answer. Sighing loud enough for her to hear, he started. This was going to be bad for the both of them.

"A condom is…"

- - -

**AN: **Haha, drop in a review if you liked it. May continue the story a bit later, if enough are interested (and my muse is working) Cya!


	2. Learning is Fun, The Answer Part I

**AN: **I'm kind of procrastinating at the moment, so I'm writing this short drabble. I really should update my other stories. Anyway, kiddies, this is a T rated fic – sexual references here and there…though nothing as bad as you see on TV.

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**Prior Soul Society: Learning is Fun, The Answer (Part I)**

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"_A condom is…"_

No, no, NO. That was not going to work. He could not just casually define something like…_that _with just a dictionary definition. Yes, Ichigo knew the dictionary definition – not because he was a pervert or anything like that, but because they had all been forced to look it up during sex education. And that was the easy bit of sex education as well.

He could imagine himself saying, 'A condom is a flexible sheath, usually made of thin rubber or latex, designed to cover the penis during sexual intercourse for contraceptive purposes or as a means of preventing sexually transmitted diseases.'

There were too many words there that Rukia wouldn't understand – and what would be worse, was that she would probably extract from the dictionary definition the words she would know.

Ichigo pondered a moment. She would understand the words, 'flexible sheath' because that would be a term probably used with describing a soul slayer. She knew what a rubber was. She probably knew what sexual intercourse…Ichigo scratched his head and thought again. What if she _didn't _know what sex was? She knew what a penis was…or did she? That was a scary thought. Anyway, if she knew all those terms…knowing Rukia she would probably come up with a definition that went along these lines, 'A condom is a sheath made out of rubber, where _males_ can stick their _zanpaktous_ while having sex.'

That was not what he wanted. Besides, with the size his zanpaktou…she would probably think he was bragging about it or something.

"A condom is…?" Rukia repeated innocently, nearly causing Ichigo's eyes to pop out of their sockets. One couldn't blame him. If a girl – a cute girl at that – innocently said something like that to an ordinary guy, their eyes would probably be halfway to the floor, not to mention their jaw. Ichigo was just thankful that Rukia only asked him these sorts of questions – if she asked Keigo or Mizuro these questions…

He shook away the last thought, and cleared his throat. He had thought up a pretty good way of explaining to her – he would use her own medium.

A piece of paper out of Rukia's scrapbook(1), some colour pencils, and a few minutes later, Ichigo believed he had come out with a nearly perfect definition.

"Look," he said, somewhat proudly. His drawings were a lot better than Rukia's…though that wasn't that hard to beat.

"What is _that_?" she asked.

"It's a condom!" he retorted, trying to keep his irritation levels down low. It wasn't that his drawing was bad, it was just that she didn't know what a condom was in the first place.

"_That _is a condom?"

"Yes," he gritted out. Was she making fun of him?

"Ohhh…" she said, a look of understanding passing across her face. "So it's a skinny balloon!(2)" she exclaimed happily.

Ichigo groaned. She had discovered balloons not so long ago. Why, oh why did she have to make such a comparison _now_?

"But how come you didn't draw it tied up?"

He groaned again. He somehow wished that he didn't draw the damn thing so well.

"How does it stay in that shape then? Wouldn't it just deflate?"

His knuckles whitened as he gripped onto the table. There was no way he would answer that. Why didn't he draw it in a packet? No, that would probably lead to other questions, which would be worse than this.

"And what's it for anyway? I like the big balloons better, I think," she said seriously.

Ichigo nearly fell off his seat. Damn, instead of answering her question, it had simply made it _harder_…he closed his eyes and shook his head away from that choice of wording. It had made it more _difficult _for him to answer. He would have to try a different tactic.

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**AN: **What is worse, Rukia being evil when she knows it, or Rukia being evil when she doesn't know it? Find out later. Oh, you may notice some of the words have a number next to them. That means there may be a fic about them later on, though those are totally independent of this oneshot.

If you forgot, the two words were 'scrapbook', and 'balloons'.


	3. Learning is Fun, The answer Part II

**AN: **Ok, here's the next little drabble thingo that ties in with the previous chapter. Enjoy people. Again T rated…

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**Prior Soul Society: Learning is Fun, The Answer (Part II)**

**- - -**

Ok, so the drawing method was not going to work. That was obvious. Even if his artistic talent was quite remarkable.

Ichigo scratched his head as he blocked out Rukia's incessant questions. So he couldn't just directly tell her, nor could he give her a visual. A thought occurred to him, but he immediately brushed it away, blushing.

_That_ would be the last resort, he thought to himself.

What was certain was that he couldn't just leave Rukia with the definition, 'skinny balloon'. There were people that would take advantage of such a naïve girl, and he would not have that.

He would get Rukia to understand the correct definition, because she was his. No, she wasn't his, but more _his _than everyone else.

He shook his head, but it was hard to think with Rukia chatting in the background about how Ichigo should get her a condom to play with – if it was anything like a balloon, she was bound to have fun with it.

After two minutes of silent pondering (in his head) he finally found an alternative solution.

If drawing didn't work, he would use the approach many dads used on their daughters when they hit adolescence.

Books.

After telling Rukia to stay put, he searched through his dad's room to find the book he was going to give Karin and Yuzu. He just couldn't imagine his dad sitting the twins down and preaching to them about the birds and the bees.

Ugh. He didn't even want to think about that. Ah, there was the book. A _pink _cover amongst a pile of…he couldn't believe his dad actually read those kinds of perverted books. Karin and Yuzu better not find out, he thought.

_What Girls Should Know About Sex_

"Ichigo!"

He jerked his head up at the sound of Rukia's voice. Without looking down, he grabbed the book, and dashed back to his room.

"What?" he said, puffing.

"Hollow," she said, as she punched him into his soul form.

- - -

The hollow had been a weak one; hardly worth the effort, and when they got home, they got back to the subject of condoms all too quickly.

But this time, Ichigo was armed.

He casually tossed her the book, and told her to have a read, not wondering why the book cover had changed from _pink_ to _orange_.

He lay on his bed happily, thinking about all the awkwardness he had just avoided. One, he wouldn't have to explain to her ever again, and two, the book would probably scar her for life, and she wouldn't ask those stupid questions ever again.

Though, that orange colour did look suspiciously like one of his dad's more perverted graphic novels…

_Shit._

He sat up abruptly, but it was too late. Rukia was already knocked out on the floor. He sat there, admiring her figure, tucking away that piece of knowledge in his head. So, girls really did get affected by those crazy perveted books. He had thought that maybe only guys...but no, here, right in front of him was a living, breathing, example. Even though she technically wasn't living, and wasn't breathing at the moment, either.

Five minutes later (when she came to), amidst the new bumps and bruises on his head, and the statement, 'Are you trying to kill me?', Ichigo had learnt something else – she did know what sex was. And now, she probably knew what _oral_ and _anal _sex was as well, thanks to him. Well, it wasn't thanks to him at all, he thought. It was his dad's stupid books.

Well, the book was a failure. She would never trust anything that he gave her to read again. Not that he blamed her. Those novels…he admitted to himself that he had hoped to scar Rukia, but not this badly. He just wanted her to think about questions she was going to ask. Now, she probably wouldn't be able to get any sleep for the next three weeks. He had accidentally ventured in on his dad's collection a few years ago, and he had nightmares for a month. He would really need to talk to his dad about locking down that chest. If Yuzu or Karin were to read it…

Anyway, he had to focus on the problem at hand. If the book method didn't work, the drawing method didn't work – there was only one thing left. _Practical application._

Ichigo checked his watch. Good, the chemist would still be open.

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**AN: **Ah, thanks for reading. Please review, cause this little saga in my series of one-shots are almost over. Till next time! Cya!


	4. Learning is Fun, The Answer Part III

**AN: **I just have to let you guys know, I am really NOT in the mood for writing. But I thought, a small continuation of the earlier oneshots wouldn't hurt right? Well, If it's bad its not my fault. I have state exams. Consideration. Haha. Now where were we?

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**Learning is Fun: The Answer (Part III)**

**- - -**

Taking her hand rather vigorously, he practically dragged Rukia out of his bedroom.

"Ichigo, what the hell are you doing?" came the familiar voice of Rukia as she flew down the stairs behind him.

"Just hurry up and come," he mumbled, and pulled her out the door.

In his haste, he had forgotten that there was other people occupying his house, namely his two sisters and his father – they had been sitting together at the dinner table and now were looking completely confused.

Did Ichigo just run through the house, with a girl? And holding her hand? And saying, "Just hurry up and _come_?"

Even though Karin and Yuzu were young, they weren't _that _young. Unbeknownst to Ichigo, Isshin had already given each of his daughters a special edition of

_What Girls Should Know About Sex_

The special edition had a glossary of modern terms that were used by teenagers relating to sex. Unfortunately, both of the girls had read parts of the book before.

Karin, of course, had hung around boys long enough to know what _that _term had meant, but Yuzu wasn't as privileged. But she knew she had heard that term somewhere. She fished around in her pockets to find the book (the special edition came with a pocket-sized booklet'), and she scanned through it.

"Ah!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Do you know what Ichigo was talking about when he ran out the door with that girl?" she asked her father and sister, at which both shook their heads vigorously. There was no need to taint her pure mind. Or so they thought.

"I didn't either!" Yuzu continued happily. "But this book you gave me dad, says what it means here – _slang for excretion _–"

Her eyes became rather large.

- - -

"Why are we at the pharmacy?" Rukia asked innocently.

"I'm just going to buy the damn thing, ok?" Ichigo replied, his face heating up. Why didn't she just give up? Why didn't he just give up on trying to explain this whole condom thing to her? Good idea.

"Actually, I'm not going to. I'm going home."

Rukia's mouth formed in a small pout. "But why?" she whined, grabbing onto Ichigo's arm. There was something about this girl – when she wanted something, it was like she transformed into a 7-year-old child.

"Just…It's just not right," he said, and it wasn't right. What could be right about him buying a condom with Rukia. He shook her arm off his, just in case he fall into the temptations of her sweet, luscious porcelain body…well, at least they would have a condom – NO! He should not be thinking those things.

He stalked off angrily, muttering to himself, "…not be thinking those things, I should not be thinking those –"

His mantra was cut off by Rukia, who called out to him rather loudly. "Fine! I'll just ask Keigo!"

That stopped him dead in his tracks. That would not be good. That would not be good at all. He rushed back to her side, but to his dismay, his flirtatious (and highly unsuccessful) classmate had appeared out of nowhere.

"Ask me what, dearest Rukia-chan?"

Ichigo could see almost see fine sparkling dust particles fall in slow motion around his female classmate.

"Well, you see, Ichigo and I are just out to buy some _condoms_…" she trailed off as she started to browse through the items on the shelf next to her. With her visuals distracted she didn't see Keigo gasping for breath, and Ichigo, who was struggling to keep his sanity (and his balance).

"…but then for some reason he didn't want to do it…" Still intent on browsing the shelf, she failed to see Keigo fall on the floor, and Ichigo leaning heavily against another shelf.

"…and I didn't see what was wrong with it…"

Keigo was out cold.

"Oh! Look! I found some condoms, Ichigo!"

Keigo's body was now spasmodically twitching on the floor, and Rukia's _endearing _proclamation had attracted the entire population of the store.

His face burned as he heard the remarks made by some of the people nearby. They were varied in length and composition, but all were embarrassing in the same way.

"Youngsters these days," one old lady said, shaking her head. And her husband next to her sagely nodded.

Then some random guy: "Hoo boy! Get it _on!_"

A group of school girls who were standing in the beauty section of the shop were also whispering loudly amongst themselves.

But perhaps the most embarrassing one was when everyone had quietened down. The question was asked by a little girl, as she tugged on her mother's skirt.

"Mummy, what's a condom?"

That sent the whole store into hysterics.

- - -

Though his legs were shaking, he took advantage of the fact Keigo was knocked out and that the whole of the store was currently in 'laugh-mode'. He grabbed the packet Rukia was still holding, grabbed her hand, and ran towards the counter, noting gratefully that there was no line.

Because he was trying to hide his face from everyone else in the shop, he didn't look at the attendant when he put the packet on the counter. In his embarrassed state he didn't even notice that the attendant hadn't moved to pick up the packet.

Rukia clapped her hands. "Ichigo! You should have told me that Orihime worked here!"

- - -

**AN: **Ahahah. I feel sorry for Ichigo. Ouch. What a terrible position to be in. Reviews would be appreciated.


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